world.
-so much pain. i send my love and prayers to those hurting. charles carpenter, who worked at the medici, was shot and killed this week. herald.
my heart goes out, out, out. we saw him all the time, in passing there.
my heart doesn't know where to call home, how to improve.
i check that paper every week.
-must email casey. this is not what we call rejection. this is me not knowing how to move.
-i am always anxious to be doing.
ben is going to tech me CS17. i am very hopeful.
-i have bangs now.
-the sent messages haunt me with all the things i didn't say, while the unsent ones pick at the corners of my brain.
do you know i think about you every day? every hour? (second person is easier, though you should not come here, that's why i'm here) all the pages of the only hidden diary i have, too secret even for the zeros and ones of this world that comforts me, only trees can hold it in.
-have begun reading Devil in the White City again. chicago. thoughts.
-the sun is shining and i wish i were swimming, running, building, anything to ease the way my heart beats so so fast at thoughts and my breath does not come smooth.